Because silence has always been the answer, right?

I wonder

I wonder, I wonder if I'll have peaceful slumber,

Anywhere near present day. 

I wonder, I wonder how many tears lie under,

Will they eventually fade?

I wonder, I wonder if you believe you'll love her,

Many years away..

"Pain throws your heart to the ground

Love turns the whole thing around

No it won't all go the way it should

But I know the heart of life is good"

-John Mayer 

Take two

You know there is something really special that is happening. I finally feel comfortable with him again. And now he's open with me again. Now he's not so tense and he can laugh with me and talk with me again. It's like in 8th grade when things finally stopped getting awkward and we started it. But this time we won't push the boundaries. This time we know our place and what we are fighting for. This time it's for real. 

God give me strength to push on. Strength to trust in you. Let me work hard in your name and share your mercy with all. 

"We pour out our miseries, god just hears a melody. Beautiful, the mess we are, the honest cries of breaking hearts, are better than a hallelujah sometimes."

I am staring at his posts now. Hoping that maybe I'll see one from tonight. Maybe he didn't tell me all he felt and maybe I can know from this. But I'm afraid that he won't do it anymore because if me. He's not going to write his feelings anymore because he knows I will read them.

I'm so proud of what he did there. I'm proud that he took time to truly care about me and his emotions and everything he could think of he shared. No matter how hard some of it was to real I'm proud of him for doing it. I'll always be proud of who he is. 

"Whatever you're doing inside of me, it feels like chaos, but somehow I'm free. It's hard to give into what I can't see, but I giving into something heavenly. " 

Something heavenly.