Why doesn't he make himself happy and leave me? God I'm so lost help me find you. Where has all this time gone with this beautiful man. 3 years ago you put him in my life. 3 years ago you showed me that love does exist even for me but does he know, lord? Does he know that I would do anything to help him? Even if it means letting him leave me. God show me what to do. Show me where to go and what to say. Open my eyes to reality. He said that no other girl woul do what we did.. He says he almost left me. He says that he's so in love with me, but why doesn't he say that to me? If he doesn't want to change why can't he find someone who can help him? I feel like I can't get in anymore. That he has shut me out because I won't do it with him. Sometimes I feel like that was all I was good for to him. Even when we only used to make out...

Lord hold me close as I fall in tears over someone so important to me. Lay it on his heart that my body is a sacred thing and that if he wants to have it and take care of it in marriage, he has to respect it now. I don't want to have to fight about sex for the rest of our relationship.. Be my guide and let my life be the proof of your love. Take my worries and my doubts, god. He hates that I just want my body to be respected.. 

How could I forget a man that has given me so much to remember?

My bed still smells like you. And it's making me cry even more because I know that you'll see this as soon as I post it and maybe you'll post about me again.