I've been hit very hard by reality about a month ago. My very close friend Nathan and I had a big fight. The reality of it all was he's finally gone from my life. I have spent so letting him bit by bit and then being too afraid and pushing him away again. We fought over my other friend but it wasn't worth it. Instead of understanding, Nathan blew up on me. He said some hurtful things, but what really hit me hard was that he told me to go die. As hard as that is to hear, I'mnot sure if he meant it or not. I have given him so many chances to be a friend before this, forgiveness was a huge part of this. But i can not physically or mentally forgive him. I can't ever push the memory of him telling me that out of me head. I really dont know how God wants em to react and i'mafraid to go near him again. I don't know what to do.